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what what!
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badass
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supa’ strong
i read a TON of crossfit related “stuff.” some of my fave reads are the ones focused on inner strength and using it to drive performance. i think of it as developing or training my crossfit heart. and let me tell ya i got BIG crossfit heart! i heart all things crossfit. i can’t call it a gym cuz that just doesn’t fit what crossfit is. i can’t explain to people what it is. it just is the most positive space…filled with the most incredible people.
i have been working my dead hang. i just barely have my kipping pull up. after reading byers dead hang vs. pull up blog ( http://byerscrossfit.blogspot.com/2009/03/got-pull-up.html) i was determined to get a dead hang. i figure with the strength to dead hang, kipping would be supa’ easy!
so everyday after my WOD i hop up on the bar and commit to 5-4-3-2-1 dead hangs with the purple band. i HATE the band. i feel like after a year of crossfit i am so far beyond the band. but i suck it up and strap in! the last few times i have switched to the black band…and once even used the red band. practically a kitchen elastic! i feel sooooooo close to getting there without the damn band!
then last week i walk into “chelsea” and decided…f* you band…f* you bar…i’m going band-less if it kills me. and i did! all 30 horrifying minutes! i kipped chelsea’s ass! i was “officially” out at 14 rounds…but no way, no how was i going to give into the painful cries of my lil arms! i think two things helped me kip band-less. one…the obvious strength you build with a dead hang and two, the motion. the hardest thing about a kip (for me anyway) is to wrap my head around the fact that swinging and kicking is to propel you UP! naturally the swing motion is like a pendulum (back and forth/sideways)…but you need to really get that hip opening and UP vertical motion to successfully get over the bar. practicing the dead hang kinda reinforced that “UP” notion for me.
i felt like a right mess after chelsea…but a band-less proud right mess!
so when i saw the WOD posted thursday i felt really good about it.
Complete 5 rounds for time of:
- 5 Weighted pull-ups (boys: 45#; girls: 30#)
- 25 Jumping pull-ups
i swear i stepped up to that bar and saw me complete the WOD in the most badass’ way! i mean obviously my vision wasn’t delusional…i scaled! i’m not wonder woman (yet!). in my head i had a 10-15# weight. all my brain training was in full force! i was positive…i was visualizing…i was killing the WOD (in my head!)
10# – puuuuuull. not an inch did i move
5# – pullup ….nothin!
no pounds…still nothing! i couldn’t dead hang….i couldn’t kip…bah!
i had pulled something in my chest being stupid on the monkey bars a few days earlier…but was convinced i could do this. that it was better…that i was strong enough. sigh* but i wasn’t. and it sucked. really really sucked. i have never DNF’d before…and to be honest…unless i am having a coronary or seizure…i never wanna DNF.
so i hopped down and sub’d push ups for the pull ups. and it sucked.
it sucked because i felt like i let everyone down. there were 5 of the awesome’est ladies pushing through. bound by determination. i felt like i let coach drill sergeant down. he’s always pushin me …never letting me get away with anything…no mediocre allowed.
i finished. feeling defeated and pitiful. i wanted to leave. just grab my stuff and go. but the gals were still fighting. the last to finish was lady g. she was true badass. she was hurting. she was pullin HARD…refusing to drop the weight. if chin didn’t go over…it wasn’t counted. she was and is what i aspire to every workout. all the ladies are.
so i am not recording my time. i am not marking my progress for thursday. today was the day that never was for me. as lisa said..this was my workout/fuck off scale. its’ byers brilliant healthy/fuck off scale applied to a workout. so WOD/FO!
what it WAS for me was just another demonstration of true strength and sheer determination and inspiration. i feel lucky to know the crossfit crew and to share in their pain. i heart our lil community of good good people. they make me try for “my better” each and every day.